my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories
this is me, i am pete, love me
i really want to see a movie where there is not a single character who is a heterosexual cisgender white guy. not one.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
THESE ARE SO GREAT
If you don’t think that face is cute then you don’t know what cute is!
I mean, I guess my horse is kind of cute and my barn is kind of pretty
My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.
I still say this was hilarious fuck you guys
Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually
shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl
shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg
shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in a happy, friendly tone.
Shout out to Guinea Pigs which are neither pigs nor from Guinea.
You don’t know fanciness until you’ve seen a snake with a top hat and moustache
hELLO MY BABY, hELLO MY HONEY, hELLO MY RAGTIME GAL,
"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of genotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
A skeleton of a mother, and her baby, who both died during her pregnancy.
this is so fucking cool
how on earth is this cool this is literally the remains of a mother and a child she never even got to see. have some respect smh
its cool because its an intact skeleton within an intact skeleton. sad sure, but still cool, get off the pedestal.
Versatile • adj. Capable of doing many things competently.
excuse me but you’re missing the best one
I HAVE NEVER REBLOGGED SOMETHING SO FAST IN MY ENTIRE LIFEWacky fun…
I’d tend to agree:
excuse me you forgot someone